The Communication Club

Theory

Behaviour ... Why?

Rules

ABC Analysis

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Supporting Children to Shape Their Behaviour

We believe that children feel more secure when they understand the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. This is why we work hard to help our children understand what is expected of them in the Communication Club.

When a child does something unacceptable, we help them to understand why their behaviour was wrong. We also help them to think about what they could have done instead. This helps them to learn from their mistakes and to shape their behaviour in a positive way.

We use a four-step apology to help children to understand the importance of apologizing. The four steps are:

Acknowledge the wrong behaviour. The child needs to acknowledge that they did something wrong.
Express regret. The child needs to express regret for their actions.
Make amends. The child needs to make amends for their actions, if possible.
Promise to do better. The child needs to promise to do better in the future.

We believe that this four-step apology helps children to learn from their mistakes and to shape their behaviour in a positive way

Using Positive Language to Support Behaviour

Positive language is more effective than negative language. When we use negative language, such as "naughty" or "ouch," it can make children feel bad about themselves. This can lead to them feeling angry or frustrated, which can make the behavior worse. Positive language, on the other hand, focuses on what the child should do instead of what they should not do. This can help children feel more positive and motivated to change their behavior.
Positive language teaches children what is expected of them. When we use clear and concise instructions, such as "stop" or "look at me," it helps children understand what we want them to do. This can help them to learn self-control and to follow directions.
Positive language encourages children to use their words. When we use words like "kind hands" or "finished," it helps children to learn how to express themselves in a positive way. This can help them to resolve conflicts peacefully and to build relationships with others.

Here are some examples of how we can use positive language to support behaviour in children:

Instead of saying "No, don't hit," we can say "Use your gentle hands."
Instead of saying "Ouch, that hurts," we can say "Let's be careful not to hurt each other."
Instead of saying "Naughty boy," we can say "Let's try to be kind."
Instead of saying "Stop that," we can say "Let's do something else."
Instead of saying "You're not listening," we can say "Can you please repeat what I said?"

Using positive language takes practice, but it is worth it.

When we use positive language, we are helping children to learn and grow in a positive way.